I’m a few hours sleep away from heading out on my vacation.
I was looking forward to it until yesterday. For some reason I have a very uneasy feeling about the whole thing. I’m hoping it’s just my usual travel nerves.
I’m also feeling uneasy about wrapping up my freelance work. My friend looks at it as an opportunity to do new things. I’m trying to see it that way but mostly i’m just scared about having no safety net.
I’m flying from SF to a layover in Houston to Orlando where I will be picked up from the airport by my mom! :)
robin williams died today.
here is a list of things that robin williams was:
- and sad.
that’s important, the “and sad,” because sometimes sadness can feel like the only thing we are. it can feel all-encompassing. it can feel like the only thing anyone could possibly see, when they look at you: sad. that person is so, so, sad.
but there is always an “and.” we are never just sad. we are never only. we are always and.
we have all known people who were sad, who are sad; some of us are ourselves sad. being sad does not remove the other parts of us, though it can make them harder for us to see. when you are sad, you don’t necessarily feel like you are also funny, and sharp, and clever, and kind.
but you still are. you don’t have to feel like something to be it.
those things are written on your bones, they are woven into the fabric of your skin. sadness can feel so big, so big and overwhelming and complete, even when it is not a directed sadness. maybe especially when it is not a directed sadness, when it’s a depression that has no direct cause and nothing we can name.
sometimes the sadness is too big. people try to cut it out, or starve it out, or drink it down, or drug it silent. if this is you: i’m sorry. if this is you: you are not alone. if this is you: remember that the solution is never to give up, because you do not live in a vacuum. there are people waiting for you. there are films and songs and books and not-sadness waiting for you. i know that you don’t feel like waiting, but wait anyway.
if you need help, ask for it. here’s a link to crisis centers across the globe. if you live in the U.S., this is the national suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255.
robin williams died today, but the genie didn’t, and mrs. doubtfire didn’t, and peter pan didn’t. sean maquire didn’t, and professor philip brainard didn’t, and alan parrish didn’t. batty koda didn’t. john keating didn’t. you didn’t.
don’t.i wasn’t going to reblog anymore on this but i read this and i feel like there are probably some folks on here who might need to read it, too.
Oh man. Robin Williams. :(
My little sister LOVED him so much and she texted me at work today to tell me he had died and I was shocked. I called her up on my ten minute break and she was crying so much, just a sobbing mess. She was exactly the kid that Mrs. Doubtfire and Jumanji and Aladdin were geared towards and she really loved him and I did too. We watched all of those movies together and when we got older, his stand up, Mork and Mindy, and we would always visit the attractions he voiced in Disney as many times as we could squeeze into a visit to the parks.
I think maybe he was another father figure for my sister which is why she’s taking this so hard.
I guess he was living in Tiburon when he died, which is literally across the bay, a 20 minute Ferry ride from SF. I knew he lived in the bay area and I used to imagine sometime maybe running into him in Sea Cliff (where he used to live, I guess) near the beach because it’s all super rich houses around Baker beach.
It’s totally surreal. My dash is just filled with him right now and I feel it’s as it should be. I’m shocked and a bit mad that he’s died. Of course we don’t know the details yet, but I hope that it was not suicide as they are suggesting.