There is nothing I can look at for very long, except the sea.

interesting

So my stomach has really been hurting me with anxiety pains for weeks now. It comes and goes. But it hurt me today. So I’m at work and I decided to sit down (we’re not supposed to— we have to stand for the entire shift) since nobody was in the store and I decided to do some writing.

Well, wouldn’t you know it my stomach stopped hurting. I was distracted. I was creating— and it was not until I realized that it stopped and I’m back here on tumblr that it hurts again.

Man. If I didn’t know that my stomach pain was anxiety before this, then I’d have undeniable proof now.

Drugs

Things have not been great. My stomach really hurts with anxiety, though I can’t say I’m particularly anxious about something specific.

My therapist wants me to be medicated and really pushed me this week, and I’m really, really against it. I was medicated once before and all it did was make me fat and tranquilize me, it did not lessen my anxiety. In fact, I think it made it worse because I could see how it was affecting my ability to function— made me tired and placid like a doped up cow.

I couldn’t do any art while I was medicated because I just didn’t give a shit about anything.  I’m someone who is short and used to be 40 pounds overweight and that weight loss IS a hard arduous struggle to maintain, so the idea of being on medication that makes you gain weight is abhorrent to me. I’m not trying to judge overweight people, I KNOW how hard it is (I am still technically overweight for my height). I just will never be comfortable if my weight creeps back up on me.

I think I have to stop seeing her. We made my next appointment for two weeks from now, but I am definitely going to call up and cancel and then I’ll be away the next week, so I can at least hedge a month. I know she’s not stupid and will know what I’m doing, but I don’t care. I don’t want to be medicated, and I’m pretty sure the next step is going to be that she won’t be able to help me anymore anyway if I refuse.

She said that if I was medicated and at a consistent emotional level, then we could begin to treat my issues. But I don’t want to be on medication. I do not trust medication. I don’t want something changing my brain because as broken as it is, I know how to use it. What if it changes the part of me that can do art? Paxil did that to me in 2003 and it was scary as shit. Why would I ever risk that part of me again? The thing is she can’t possibly know how medication is going to affect me, and the risk seems too high to me. I’m trying to make my living as an artist and she wants to fuck with that because it will be easier to treat me if I’m “tranquilized.”

That said, would anyone be willing to share their experience with medication and anxiety? I’d like to learn more before I have to outright refuse.  I’m wondering what medication you took and how it affected you? Did you feel it helped you? Would you have rather gone without it? How long did you have to take it? forever?

positivelifetips:

Open your eyes to the possibility that there is something more going on than you can see. Trust that things will work out in your favor.

positivelifetips:

Open your eyes to the possibility that there is something more going on than you can see. Trust that things will work out in your favor.

perspicious:


WHAT IS IT?
Most people feel anxious and worried from time to time when faced with certain situations such as taking an exam, speaking in public or going for a job interview. At times, a certain level of anxiety can help people feel alert and focused.
People with GAD, however, feel anxious and worried most of the time, not just in times of exceptional stress, and these worries interfere with their normal lives. Their worries may relate to any aspect of everyday life, including work, health, family and/or financial issues, even if there’s no real reason to worry about them. Even minor matters, such as household chores, can become the focus of anxiety and lead to uncontrollable worries and a feeling that something terrible will happen.WHAT ARE THE SIGNS/SYMPTOMS?
A person may have GAD if the specific signs and symptoms are present for six months or more (and on more days than not). This includes excessive worrying to the point that everyday activities like working, studying or socialising, are hard to carry out.
People with GAD may have related disorders, most commonly depression, social phobia (characterised by avoidance of social situations) and panic disorder. They may also misuse alcohol or drugs and may experience a range of physical health problems such as headaches, irritable bowel syndrome or heart disease.
If you believe that you or a loved one has GAD, please see your doctor. Do not self-diagnose.HOW COMMON IS IT & WHO EXPERIENCES IT?
The condition appears to affect more women than men. It can occur at any time in life and is common in all age groups, including children and older people.
Many people with GAD are not able to identify the precise cause of their concerns but are aware that having a tendency to worry has existed for a long time, often describing themselves as having always been ‘a worrier’.
Worries often found in children with GAD typically revolve around school, sporting events, punctuality, natural disasters or war. Behaviours that sometimes accompany GAD include:
• Being over-conforming
• Being a perfectionist
• Being unsure of oneself
• Needing to re-do tasks
• Seeking regular and frequent approval and assurance from parents, teachers, siblings or friends
• Asking “Yes but, what if…?”
Adolescents who experience GAD have a tendency to see small problems as catastrophes. Despite some symptoms typically presenting in childhood, the disorder appears to develop more fully in adolescence.

                                                                                                                 DOWNLOAD GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER FACT SHEETCREDIT [X]

perspicious:

WHAT IS IT?

Most people feel anxious and worried from time to time when faced with certain situations such as taking an exam, speaking in public or going for a job interview. At times, a certain level of anxiety can help people feel alert and focused.

People with GAD, however, feel anxious and worried most of the time, not just in times of exceptional stress, and these worries interfere with their normal lives. Their worries may relate to any aspect of everyday life, including work, health, family and/or financial issues, even if there’s no real reason to worry about them. Even minor matters, such as household chores, can become the focus of anxiety and lead to uncontrollable worries and a feeling that something terrible will happen.


WHAT ARE THE SIGNS/SYMPTOMS?

A person may have GAD if the specific signs and symptoms are present for six months or more (and on more days than not). This includes excessive worrying to the point that everyday activities like working, studying or socialising, are hard to carry out.

People with GAD may have related disorders, most commonly depression, social phobia (characterised by avoidance of social situations) and panic disorder. They may also misuse alcohol or drugs and may experience a range of physical health problems such as headaches, irritable bowel syndrome or heart disease.

If you believe that you or a loved one has GAD, please see your doctor. Do not self-diagnose.


HOW COMMON IS IT & WHO EXPERIENCES IT?

The condition appears to affect more women than men. It can occur at any time in life and is common in all age groups, including children and older people.

Many people with GAD are not able to identify the precise cause of their concerns but are aware that having a tendency to worry has existed for a long time, often describing themselves as having always been ‘a worrier’.

Worries often found in children with GAD typically revolve around school, sporting events, punctuality, natural disasters or war. Behaviours that sometimes accompany GAD include:

Being over-conforming

Being a perfectionist

Being unsure of oneself

Needing to re-do tasks

Seeking regular and frequent approval and assurance from parents, teachers, siblings or friends

Asking “Yes but, what if…?”

Adolescents who experience GAD have a tendency to see small problems as catastrophes. Despite some symptoms typically presenting in childhood, the disorder appears to develop more fully in adolescence.

                                                                                                                 
DOWNLOAD GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER FACT SHEET
CREDIT [X]

swingsetindecember:

i wish more people said that being single is normal

and you’re not going to meet and marry someone

and that’s fine

and if marriage happens, it happens. and it’s not the next big ticket to check off in life’s checklist

because not everyone meets someone they want to marry. and that’s normal

you’re not broken or unfulfilled if you are single

Search
Navigate
Archive

Text, photographs, quotes, links, conversations, audio and visual material preserved for future reference.

Likes

A handpicked medley of inspirations, musings, obsessions and things of general interest.