I’m having oscillating emotions again— one minute I’m fine and the next I’m freaking out about employment— then i’m fine again and then I’m freaking out about my roommate situation.

It’s very confusing for my nervous system.

Van has finally moved out (and that means her uninvited live-in boyfriend has also moved out).  Kay and I have interviewed a few people and we found a guy that we think would fit in great with the two of us and we’re now playing the waiting game to see what he says.

The stress of Van moving out and taking over the bills and finding a new roommate has made me sick.  I never get sick nowadays unless I’ve had a serious stress related episode, which I did last Monday. So, naturally I’ve been feeling feverish and the beginnings of a sore throat. I’ve been chugging Wal-flu and orange juice and that seems to have warded it off.

The production job I’m doing is still ongoing… and I found out that the money I’m getting is via gift card, which totally sucks. I told him to make it an amazon gift card because at least then I can use it to buy almost anything (except rent and groceries and my student loan bills, but whatever).

I actually volunteered for another assignment from them because it would be an honest to god animation position. I’d get assigned a 15-30 second sequence that I actually could put in my portfolio. The pay is even less than what I’m getting now (it’s a lot less work though… 30 seconds vs 5-8 minutes of layout).

BUT— I did it because then I will have TWO credits at the studio, and one of those will be in my field of study. IF the animation director decides to hire me.

All these things are a worry to me. I’m so worried that I won’t be able to get a job come June because that’s when my money will run out.

There’s a paid internship at Van’s company that starts in June and I really hope I get that because it would be such a good thing for my resume and my sense of self worth.  It’s an illustration/animation position, which I feel is perfect for my skill set.

Though I worry because Van might not want to help me, in fact she’s in a position to hurt my chances too.

So much worry. Too much. :(